A person who is abusive is rarely abusive at the start of a relationship. Why would they be? Would you want to embark on a relationship with them if they were?
No, abusers will charm you.
Of course, excitement at the start of a relationship is to be expected, however there are some warning signs to look out for, that may indicate that this charm offensive is not as benign as it seems.
- abusive relationships often develop very fast and quickly become intense
- An abuser might offer early and premature commitment to the new relationship
- You may be inundated by telephone calls, text messages and other contacts. An abuser may want to know where you are constantly and who you are with.
- Abusive partners often try to “take over” your life, for example they may offer to solve your accommodation, child or work-related problems
- Abusers will often try to disable you in the guise of supporting you. They will do this by stepping into your decision-making processes and encouraging you to rely on them very early on in the relationship
- They will slowly try to isolate you from your friends and family and use their charm to show that they ‘care’ when in fact they are building a system of coercion and control
