In the last year, we supported over 350 women and 35 children across West Cornwall, offering crisis support, therapy and long‑term recovery and empowerment programmes.
What Survivors Tell Us
J's Story
J is a former service user of West Cornwall Women’s Aid. After fleeing an abusive relationship with her daughter, she received support from our Refuge and resettlement workers. Having experienced significant adversity in childhood, as well as domestic abuse in adulthood, J has shown remarkable strength and resilience on her journey towards recovery and healing. This is her story:
“Before contacting West Cornwall Women's Aid, I was in the thick of my relationship and things not being great. I went to the sexual health clinic and I explained while I was there about the relationship and the details of different certain things and they passed me a number. I wasn't sure what the number was for and it took about a week for me to phone the number. In between, things were quite hard because my mum gave me an ultimatum of picking the relationship or my child. I knew that the relationship wasn't healthy and I knew I didn't really have a lot of options of where to get help or support and I felt really isolated.
So I decided I was going to phone the number for West Cornwall Women's Aid and then it was a case of working out where the safest place to locate me and my daughter.
The support that made the biggest difference was me and my daughter both having individual support. We each had our own project worker so we had individual help to repair our bond because naturally that had fractured. It was almost like my parenting role got sidelined and the trust broke down between me and her. It had just been us for a long time. We'd done everything together and then we had that (abusive) relationship and it kind of just blew everything apart. It did take a good few years of rebuilding what we had before.
Since my time in Refuge I've gone through different training, did peer mental support for other people and I'm now a volunteer counsellor through the agency. So I've been able to go through my own journey and now be able to be there for other women. And I feel confident that actually I understand what abuse is, the different levels and all the different challenges that crop up throughout that journey. Healing is ongoing and there's going to be wobbles and you don't know when those triggers are going to come. But through my own learning and healing, I know that it passes but in the early stages you don't know when it's going to pass. My biggest healing now is kind of seeing it for other women. I've been where they've been and hopefully with my training I can now support them.
Life is different for me now. I feel more confident and it is in being able to say no and not feeling guilty for it and not feeling like “oh, I've got to do this because of that” or there being that severe consequence at the end. I'm quite confident, quite happy with my choices. I have a nice home. I've got another child. I have pets. So for me, that's my happy life and having a job that I absolutely love.
If you are thinking of contacting West Cornwall Women’s Aid, it's worth exploring your options, even if you don't act immediately. And sometimes it can take time to digest what you're learning. Because I've also volunteered on the helpline I know that sometimes women can phone up and then there could be a long time before they phone again. There's no time frame or right or wrong time to just to seek support or explore options.
There isn't a quick fix – it takes a long time to actually recognise (domestic abuse) and be willing to recognise what you're going through because of the shame. It's embarrassing when you actually sit there and go, “oh my gosh, this is what I've experienced. This is what someone's done to me” or think about all the different reasons why you choose not to leave because you've got children, finances, everything wrapped in it.”
Overcoming Adverse Childhood Experiences
“…thank you for the horse riding lessons for [my daughter]. It has done wonders. Her behaviour is much better. She has become more aware of her responsibilities to herself and others. She has become more caring and helpful. Her school work has improved. [She] lacked self-confidence because of relentless bullying in school but because she was taking the lessons at the stables, it gave her the confidence to do her work experience there and she thoroughly enjoyed it.” Mum of child in Refuge.
“Thank you so, so much for all the amazing work you have done with our children. They have really enjoyed the sessions and gained so much from them.” Member of local School staff on Healthy Relationships workshops.
“Trying new things always builds our self-esteem. Thank you for such a good day” Mum of child in refuge
A space to heal
“The team at refuge […] are second to none. They work together in a very holistic way that generates a family feel, a sense of belonging, this I will miss.”
“I’m very thankful to have had the opportunity to live there and go on with my life peacefully.”
“Lovely lounge, great to have in-house laundry. Bathroom was nice, loved having baths again. “
Quotes from Refuge clients
Empowerment and wellbeing
“I feel like I am healing for the first time in 30 years. so thankful for West Cornwall Women’s Aid and Power to Change. Any woman that has been in any abusive relationships should do this course. Absolutely amazing!”
“The Power to Change group is a game changer for me and has exceeded any expectations I had. The content is relevant, helpful and insightful, and is delivered in a concise and professional, yet thoroughly enjoyable way. The group feels open and welcoming, and provides a space for us to communicate our challenges, seek feedback from others with similar experiences, but above all, connect with other women in the group. Life in and out of refuge can feel like the loneliest place in the world but this group cuts right through that. just this morning, I felt incredibly down. I felt consumed with multiple challenges I’m currently facing, alongside the prospect of many areas of support soon coming to an end, yet the group helped me feel like a whole person again.”
Quotes from participants in our Power to Change programme.
